Outta Sorts

So now, going on 24 hours nearly, I have been so outta sorts. I just feel like curling up in bed and crying. I hate it. I feel sick and nauseous. I am well aware that Mother's Day is coming up but that isn't the cause of this one. I don't know.

Yesterday at work, I asked at 10:30 who was covering my break, I got brushed off and by 12:30 I was Mad. I told my mgr that I was leaving at 1pm cuz obviously they were not going to give me a break and I required one. They wouldn't even help me so that I could use the washroom. Then I get told by the other mgr that my mgr wants to talk to me about staying. But really, I have tried to talk to you for days now about everything and you walk away. They don't want me. Maybe that is what set me off into this feeling of "I don't know".

At least I got some good news yesterday, we will have the keys to the house today. We officially own the house (and will be in debt for the next 35 years). I wonder now if the utilities will be set up for today?

But even with the good news I still don't feel right. Really wish I would have had someone to call in sick to today. I think I need a Mental Health Day. A day where I stay in bed and cry if I need to. I randomly broke out in tears last night, actually the last 2 nights, and my eyes just welled up this morning too. I don't know what is going on. And what is worse, I have no one to talk to anymore. At least I feel like I have no one. Josh listened to me last night but I don't know if he gets it. I know there is somethig wrong with me and should probably talk to someone but really is it worth it? Like I could put my frustrations here or in a journal for free. Sometimes I wonder if all of this is even worth it anymore (not like suicide but instead removing myself from everything adn everyone and starting over).

I slept solid last night for the first time in ages. Don't remember any dreams, not sure if I did dream or not. It was weird, I lied down, Skittles came over to me, I remember my eyes kept closing and then the alarm went off this morning. Even though I slept, I still feel dreadful.

Sorry for the non-positive post... hopefully later today I will have something better.