Every day this feeling of depression is taking me in deeper. I should be happy and I know it. We have possession of our house (which I didn't get to participate in on possession day but then again it isn't really my house at all). I really need my mom right now, or maybe even gramma - oh wait they are gone so I am alone again. I cannot keep the tears from coming. It is killing me. I have no appetite and am not finding joy in anything I do. Depression at its finest.
With everything going on in the last bit I am not surprised at my mood, I am though surprised at how bad it is. On a scale from 1-10, I am about a 7 this morning alone. Last night, close to a 10. No thoughts of hurting myself but I really wonder why I am even here? Why do I even try anymore? So far nothing in my life has been so great and it seems like everything I do turns shitty so why bother? Why am I destined to be depressed? I am near 27, work for near minimum wage, am in debt over my head, I couldn't even get a loan to help my debt, I will be living in my boyfriends house vs in my dad's basement, I have a cat, am divorced and no real future. I know I shouldn't think so negatively but it won't stop.
Today is going to be horrible. But it is just like every other day lately. Except tonight after woek I am going to have to pack hardcore, I have to move at 8am tomorrow.
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